Relational Conflict: It’s Cause and Cure James 4:1-10 Chris Patton Sermon Theme: The root cause of relational conflict is unfulfilled, idolatrous desires. The cure is humble repentance. The cure is humble submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ rather than the lordship of our own personal desires. Three Principles of Conflict-Resolving Wisdom: Principle #1: In conflict, consider what you want that you are not getting. Principle #2: In conflict, and at all times, diligently watch over your own heart. Principle #3 In conflict, seek to humble yourself. Questions for Discussion/Application: *Re-read the text, James 4:1-10. What initial insights and observations do you have from reading this passage? *Read these quotes and take a few minutes as a group to discuss what they mean: “the evil in our desires often lies not in what we want but in the fact that we want it too much. Natural affections become inordinate, ruling cravings. We are meant to be ruled by godly passions and desires…Grasping that the evil lies in the ruling status of the desire, not in the object, is frequently a turning point in self-understanding, in seeing the need for Christ’s mercies, and in changing.” – David Powlison, summarizing insight drawn from John Calvin “Idolatry happens when we take good things and make them ultimate things.” — Timothy Keller *How do inordinate desires cause conflict? *What desires for you can at times become idolatrous, controlling desires? Typical idols include idols of respect, approval, love, appreciation, comfort, control. *How can asking the question “What is it I want that I am not getting?” reveal desires that are idolatrous and help us to repent quickly when we find ourselves in conflict? *What does it look like practically to humble ourselves before God and others in conflict? *Consider taking time to pray, asking God to help us to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness, to watch our hearts diligently, and to not yield to idolatrous desires that can control us.